I was just about to begin a serious consultation with a jelly donut when my receptionist brought the news that Mrs. Frazzle was on the telephone. She sounded very upset. (So, what else is new?)

The psychic said to work on the horse's left front ankle and treat it with a plant extract only Granny Clampet had in stock.

I was about halfway through my brilliant explanation of spinal disc disease when, suddenly, the exam room filled with the thrilling sounds of the William Tell Overture.

The 2-pound Yorkie was carrying a huge mountain oyster. It was hanging out both sides of his mouth, and he was proud as a peacock.

I've been a veterinarian almost 18 years, but must admit I still haven't entirely figured out clients. I went to veterinary school to learn how to treat animals. Until I started practicing, I hadn't stopped to consider that every animal comes with an owner attached, and that these owners — not the animals — are the real challenge.

Mrs. Dizzy is one of my best clients. However, when you first meet her it doesn't take long to figure out that she doesn't have both oars in the water. Each and every office visit with her is a bit time-consuming because explanations must be simplified and then repeated several times. We don't mind. She's cooperative, loves her pets and, most important of all, pays her bills. (Everyone can't be a rocket scientist, you know.)

Finally, during the second round, the leg popped out. I started celebrating like I'd just won a gold medal.

We veterinarians always keep an eye out for teeth. If we aren't careful, some of our patients might sink theirs into us.

It was Feb. 14, Valentine's Day. Because of a raging snowstorm, appointments were being cancelled left and right. With the slow schedule, I was entertaining thoughts of enjoying a second jelly doughnut. Unfortunately, a telephone call interrupted me.